Noël : les sujets qu'il vaut mieux éviter à table

23 décembre 2018

La politique, les conflits internationaux, le réchauffement climatique, la religion, … tous ces sujets ne sont rien comparé au top n°1 de la polémique familiale : les enfants et leur éducation en général. Et la nôtre en particulier.

                


1 - Il n’est pas un peu trop gâté ?

Le nombre de cadeaux que nos petits Koalas reçoivent fait chaque année débat. Oui, il faut bien admettre que quand il s’agit de voir leurs yeux briller, on n’y va pas avec le dos de la cuillère question paquets sous le sapin. Mais bon, ça sonnait un peu comme un reproche dans la bouche de leur grand-tante et pourtant chaque année, elle ne peut s’empêcher de leur offrir à chacun "un petit quelque chose". Allez comprendre !

2 - Il est souvent sur les écrans, non ?

Nous sommes la première génération de parents à devoir gérer « les écrans ». Et étant nous-mêmes quelque peu accrocs, pas facile de réguler leur utilisation quand ils sont entre les mains de nos petits Koalas. Alors au lieu de râler parce qu’ils sont « encore devant leur tablette », vous ne voulez pas leur proposer un jeu de société ? 

3 - Elle a encore sa tétine ?

Oui, Renée a quatre ans passés désormais (bon, ok, elle en aura 5 ans dans un mois) et oui, elle a encore sa tétine. Normalement, la tute devrait rester dans son lit avec son doudou, on sait. Mais bon, elle est fatiguée avec toutes ces soirées de festivités et on préfère la voir avec sa tétine que de l’entendre chouiner à longueur de soirée.

4 - Ils sont vraiment difficiles à table

Hum, hum, hum… Oui nos petits Koalas ne raffolent ni des huîtres, ni des escargots et encore moins du roquefort quand vient le fromage. Mais vu qu’on peut les nourrir exclusivement de chips goût poulet rôti, nous on dit qu’ils sont plutôt faciles.

5 - Ils ne sont pas partageurs

Ah ça c’est « la critique » qui vous fait le plus rire quand elle sort de la bouche d’un membre de votre entourage. Parce que vous en connaissez un qui pousse des cris suraigus quand on approche sa tablette, une autre qui a « son fauteuil » et gare à celui qui le lui pique et un autre planque même les crèmes dessert derrière la salade dans le frigo.

Allez, bon réveillon de noël !

PS : les cadeaux vous les ouvrez le soir du ou le matin du 25 ?   

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                (
                    [secure] => 1
                    [title] => Espace membre
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [action] => action
                        )

                )

            [member_edit] => Array
                (
                    [secure] => 1
                    [title] => Espace membre
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [action] => action
                            [export_personal_data] => export_personal_data
                        )

                )

            [member_help] => Array
                (
                    [action] => index
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [index] => index
                            [popup_duplicate_rnc] => popup_duplicate_rnc
                            [notify] => notify
                        )

                    [secure] => 1
                    [title] => Espace membre
                )

            [member_invitation] => Array
                (
                    [action] => index
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [index] => index
                            [provider] => provider
                        )

                    [secure] => 1
                    [title] => Espace membre
                )

            [member_koalition] => Array
                (
                    [action] => index
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [index] => index
                            [photokoal] => photokoal
                            [updateinfos] => updateinfos
                            [proratas] => proratas
                            [koalitions] => koalitions
                            [creation] => creation
                            [creation_unicef] => creation_unicef
                            [invitation] => invitation
                            [invitation_unicef] => invitation_unicef
                            [complete_association] => complete_association
                            [beneficiaires] => beneficiaires
                            [complete_creation] => complete_creation
                        )

                    [secure] => 1
                    [title] => Espace membre
                )

            [member_koalition_invitation] => Array
                (
                    [action] => index
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [index] => index
                            [provider] => provider
                        )

                    [secure] => 1
                    [title] => Espace membre
                )

            [member_merchant] => Array
                (
                    [action] => index
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [index] => index
                        )

                    [secure] => 1
                    [title] => Espace membre
                )

            [member_notification] => Array
                (
                    [action] => index
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [index] => index
                            [archive] => archive
                            [mark_as_read] => json
                        )

                    [secure] => 1
                    [title] => Espace membre
                )

            [member_order] => Array
                (
                    [action] => index
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [index] => index
                        )

                    [secure] => 1
                    [title] => Espace membre
                )

            [member_payment] => Array
                (
                    [action] => index
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [index] => index
                        )

                    [secure] => 1
                    [title] => Espace membre
                )

            [merchant] => Array
                (
                    [action] => index
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [offline_register_success] => offline_register_success
                            [offline_scrap] => offline_scrap
                            [offline_register] => offline_register
                            [offline_merchants] => offline_merchants
                            [increase] => increase
                            [index] => index
                            [mobile_menu] => mobile_menu
                            [promotion] => promotion
                            [search] => search
                            [search_google] => search_google
                            [view] => view
                            [rating] => rating
                            [comment_create] => comment_create
                            [export] => export
                        )

                    [title] => Commerçants
                )

            [news] => Array
                (
                    [action] => index
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [index] => index
                            [actu] => actu
                        )

                    [title] => Actualités
                )

            [newsletter] => Array
                (
                    [action] => subscribe
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [subscribe] => subscribe
                            [unsubscribe] => unsubscribe
                            [status] => status
                        )

                    [title] => Newsletter
                )

            [notify] => Array
                (
                    [action] => action
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [adblock] => adblock
                        )

                    [title] => Notice
                )

            [offers] => Array
                (
                    [title] => Offres spéciales
                )

            [current_offers] => Array
                (
                    [action] => index
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [index] => index
                        )

                    [title] => Offres du moment
                )

            [partner] => Array
                (
                    [action] => index
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [index] => index
                            [view] => view
                            [detail] => detail
                        )

                    [title] => Partenaires
                )

            [provider_gateway] => Array
                (
                    [action] => action
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [is_logged] => is_logged
                            [callback] => callback
                        )

                    [secure] => 1
                    [title] => Authentification tiers
                )

            [redirector] => Array
                (
                    [action] => action
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [merchant] => merchant
                            [partner] => partner
                            [product] => product
                            [history] => history
                        )

                    [title] => Redirection
                )

            [register] => Array
                (
                    [secure] => 
                    [action] => index
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [index] => index
                            [beneficiaires] => beneficiaires
                            [notification] => notification
                            [complete_association] => complete_association
                            [complete_creation] => complete_creation
                        )

                    [title] => Inscription
                )

            [register_landing] => Array
                (
                    [action] => index
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [index] => index
                        )

                    [title] => Inscription
                )

            [video] => Array
                (
                    [action] => action
                    [actions] => Array
                        (
                            [demo] => demo
                            [news] => news
                            [presentation] => presentation
                        )

                    [title] => Vidéo
                )

            [401] => Array
                (
                )

            [403] => Array
                (
                )

            [404] => Array
                (
                )

            [500] => Array
                (
                )

            [600] => Array
                (
                )

        )

)

3. app-env

Array
(
    [title] => Development
    [domain] => dev.capitalkoala.com
    [db] => Array
        (
            [host] => localhost
            [user] => capitalkoala
            [pass] => MAfmMZRmxEfhRmUy
            [base] => capitalkoala
            [table_prefix] => ck_
        )

    [emails] => Array
        (
            [from] => jconan@all-devs.fr
            [return-path] => jconan@all-devs.fr
            [help] => jconan@all-devs.fr
            [site] => jconan@all-devs.fr
            [support] => jconan@all-devs.fr
            [webmaster] => jconan@all-devs.fr
        )

    [cache] => 
    [error_mode] => 1
    [log] => Array
        (
            [file] => Array
                (
                    [verbosity] => 4
                )

            [toolbar] => Array
                (
                    [verbosity] => 4
                    [analyze] => 
                    [benchmark] => 
                    [autoopen] => 
                )

        )

    [seo] => Array
        (
            [allow_index] => 
            [rewrite_urls] => 1
        )

    [statics_url] => 
    [locale] => fr
    [providers] => Array
        (
            [facebook] => Array
                (
                    [consumer_key] => 227320107308971
                    [consumer_secret] => b7e6494710314c47bb14b1a6f279cca8
                )

            [facebook-tab-poker] => Array
                (
                    [consumer_key] => 227320107308971
                    [consumer_secret] => b7e6494710314c47bb14b1a6f279cca8
                )

            [gmail] => Array
                (
                    [consumer_key] => 634403623486.apps.googleusercontent.com
                    [consumer_secret] => Szsx4kjhiVapIXgqKNlvkBE8
                    [refresh_token] => 1/ubb0FZSEkxRI-kF-TO6Y_frh_dP9EUCv14CPNhL12gc
                )

            [yahoo] => Array
                (
                    [consumer_key] => dj0yJmk9MlptZ2NZc1FUTVp6JmQ9WVdrOVIwVjVRWEJsTkdjbWNHbzlOemt4TmpjMk56WXkmcz1jb25zdW1lcnNlY3JldCZ4PTU0
                    [consumer_secret] => c6be752afb80dcda438122a3a14ad26a9ac1b9ee
                    [app_id] => GEyApe4g
                )

        )

    [stat] => 
    [affiliate_universal_password] => jeJk6awtDg
    [facebook_api_id] => 227320107308971
    [name] => dev_alldevs_fr
    [filepath] => /var/www/capitalkoala/public_html/
    [path] => /
)

4. view

Array
(
)

PHP globals

All (7)

$_GET

$_POST

$_FILES

$_COOKIE

$_SESSION

$_SERVER

CONSTANTS

1. $_GET

Array
(
    [app] => site_ck
    [pg] => label
    [action] => mag
    [ref] => les-sujets-polemiques-a-noel
)

2. $_POST

Array
(
)

3. $_FILES

Array
(
)

4. $_COOKIE

Array
(
)

5. $_SESSION

Array
(
    [csrf_tokens] => Array
        (
            [form] => Array
                (
                    [5b734e7c08eb422cf85b446c7d287c7e] => 5b734e7c08eb422cf85b446c7d287c7e
                    [6f010c07bbca696e0dbb85f09ae63284] => 6f010c07bbca696e0dbb85f09ae63284
                    [c4492dda84471955e818743128e65a7d] => c4492dda84471955e818743128e65a7d
                    [e7105acd7368b1a0c28952aa69218752] => e7105acd7368b1a0c28952aa69218752
                    [0852e61a63a3746c4cf7c606935331bd] => 0852e61a63a3746c4cf7c606935331bd
                    [43f1f5b72338d661212bc3befe9fe71d] => 43f1f5b72338d661212bc3befe9fe71d
                )

        )

)

6. $_SERVER

Array
(
    [USER] => capitalkoala
    [HOME] => /var/www/capitalkoala
    [SCRIPT_NAME] => /front/ck/index.php
    [REQUEST_URI] => /label-koala/mag/les-sujets-polemiques-a-noel/
    [QUERY_STRING] => app=site_ck&pg=label&action=mag&ref=les-sujets-polemiques-a-noel
    [REQUEST_METHOD] => GET
    [SERVER_PROTOCOL] => HTTP/1.1
    [GATEWAY_INTERFACE] => CGI/1.1
    [REDIRECT_QUERY_STRING] => app=site_ck&pg=label&action=mag&ref=les-sujets-polemiques-a-noel
    [REDIRECT_URL] => /front/ck/label-koala/mag/les-sujets-polemiques-a-noel/
    [REMOTE_PORT] => 58776
    [SCRIPT_FILENAME] => /var/www/capitalkoala/public_html/front/ck/index.php
    [SERVER_ADMIN] => [no address given]
    [CONTEXT_DOCUMENT_ROOT] => /var/www/capitalkoala/public_html/
    [CONTEXT_PREFIX] => 
    [REQUEST_SCHEME] => https
    [DOCUMENT_ROOT] => /var/www/capitalkoala/public_html/
    [REMOTE_ADDR] => 54.226.73.255
    [SERVER_PORT] => 443
    [SERVER_ADDR] => 83.96.200.144
    [SERVER_NAME] => dev.capitalkoala.com
    [SERVER_SOFTWARE] => Apache
    [SERVER_SIGNATURE] => 
    [PATH] => /usr/local/sbin:/usr/local/bin:/usr/sbin:/usr/bin:/sbin:/bin
    [HTTP_ACCEPT_ENCODING] => gzip
    [HTTP_CONNECTION] => Keep-Alive
    [HTTP_HOST] => dev.capitalkoala.com
    [HTTP_ACCEPT_LANGUAGE] => en-US,en;q=0.5
    [HTTP_ACCEPT] => text/html,application/xhtml+xml,application/xml;q=0.9,*/*;q=0.8
    [HTTP_USER_AGENT] => CCBot/2.0 (https://commoncrawl.org/faq/)
    [proxy-nokeepalive] => 1
    [SSL_TLS_SNI] => dev.capitalkoala.com
    [HTTPS] => on
    [ZEND_OPTIMIZER] => 1
    [SESSION_USE_TRANS_SID] => 0
    [REGISTER_GLOBALS] => 0
    [MAGIC_QUOTES] => 0
    [PHP_VER] => 5_4
    [REDIRECT_STATUS] => 200
    [REDIRECT_SSL_TLS_SNI] => dev.capitalkoala.com
    [REDIRECT_HTTPS] => on
    [REDIRECT_ZEND_OPTIMIZER] => 1
    [REDIRECT_SESSION_USE_TRANS_SID] => 0
    [REDIRECT_REGISTER_GLOBALS] => 0
    [REDIRECT_MAGIC_QUOTES] => 0
    [REDIRECT_PHP_VER] => 5_4
    [REDIRECT_REDIRECT_STATUS] => 200
    [REDIRECT_REDIRECT_SSL_TLS_SNI] => dev.capitalkoala.com
    [REDIRECT_REDIRECT_HTTPS] => on
    [REDIRECT_REDIRECT_ZEND_OPTIMIZER] => 1
    [REDIRECT_REDIRECT_SESSION_USE_TRANS_SID] => 0
    [REDIRECT_REDIRECT_REGISTER_GLOBALS] => 0
    [REDIRECT_REDIRECT_MAGIC_QUOTES] => 0
    [REDIRECT_REDIRECT_PHP_VER] => 5_4
    [FCGI_ROLE] => RESPONDER
    [PHP_SELF] => /front/ck/index.php
    [REQUEST_TIME_FLOAT] => 1555765692.8919
    [REQUEST_TIME] => 1555765692
)

7. CONSTANTS

Array
(
    [DIRECT_ACCESS] => 1
    [FBCK_BENCH_START] => 1555765692.892
    [SITE_ID] => 1
    [SITE_REF] => ck
    [FBCK_VERSION] => 0.5.0
)